Feeling feelings, but why?Monica Myers
Emotions good bad or ugly are part of the human experience. Feelings motivate us or cause discouragement. Feelings are what make us human beings. Feelings are important for our survival. If they are so important, do we then consciously take time to examine or feelings, learn from our feelings and then get leverage over our feelings.
When thinking about our pasts, we often think we are feeling old feelings. But the only feeling you can feel is the one you are experiencing in the present moment. It is our current thought about our past that is generating the feeling about the past. This is because we have a lot of subconscious thoughts about the past and it is these thoughts that are causing us to feel like we are feeling how we felt in the past.
Feeling our feelings, and processing our them is important. Without this processing, our emotions can lead to all sorts of secondary complications such as lack of enjoyment in our jobs, dissatisfaction in our personal lives, self deprecating behaviors including abuse of drugs, alcohol, food or over working.
Once we understand the power that our emotions have over us we can use that knowledge to make changes in ourselves and in our lives to create the growth we want. I don’t want you to miss understand me I am not advocating that we should strive to only have positive emotions. We are human being and there are things that happen in the world that we make us sad.
There are really three things we can do with our emotions:
- We can react to them.
- We can avoid them.
- We can process them.
When we react to our feelings, our emotions, we generally lash out against ourselves or those around us, which then starts a new cycle of spiraling emotions.
Avoiding emotions is what I think is most common, especially in Healthcare Professionals. We are stressed and to make it through the day, it is easier to push those feelings of stress deep down into our toes. But just like trying to push a beach ball under the water, at some point it will push its way to the surface when we least expect it.
Earlier this amidst Covid, my husband severed a major CVA in front of my eyes. All I can say is thank goodness for TPA and an endarterectomy. He is 99% recovered. But two weeks after he came home, he was letting me know that he did not like the healthy cookies I had mad him. Ooops. There was that beach ball exploding when I lest expected it. I slammed the cookie into the trash and told him to “eat what ever the **** he wanted to”. If you were to know me that is never something I would say to him or anyone else.
I had been under so much stress and pressure and had not taken the time to process my emotions that it just exploded.
How do you process emotions ?